I think you are referring to opening up internal communication? That you have decided against doing that?
Only you can decide that. So if you are not feeling good about it or strong enough for it, then you have made a good decision. Sometimes making any decision, right or wrong, can make you feel better. Just having that particular weight lifted. When and if they do "come back" I wish you much success in communication at that time.
Until then, I wish you to feel as good and strong and safe as you possibly can on your own, just for you! Thank you for sharing, and for the update!