Thanks all. ((( Tree ))) that is amazing how you can be with your T.
I did tell T about what was going on without hiding. Although he did tell me we could have done it the other way if I had needed to do it that way.

There was a big issue last night that floored me. I still did not feel safe enough to call him up so sent an email (several)... I asked him to let me know he got the email with the details as I was in shock but he did not do that... so I finally begged to know he was there and he said "I am here" and that was it. Then he wrote again after I replied to that and it helped to keep me safe until I could talk with a friend. I almost said "a real friend" and maybe honestly that is how I feel. I guess I was stupid for my own self to actually consider that T cared. Sure he does but I see things in a totally different perspective now. That's all I really want to say about it. Just that life continues to affirm the lessons of childhood. I just need to stop looking for things to be any different. At least now I get it I suppose.