(((((((((((zoo)))))))))))))

I remember early in therapy, T told me that it would get worse before it got better. He actually said therapy (trauma therapy especially) is kind of like chemo...it makes us sick, and then it heals us. At the time, I thought it was the worst analogy ever, but over the last few days, I've been thinking about how true that was.

When I was in the trauma stuff - especially at first - I HAD to find things to do that would turn off my brain. I played so much guitar hero that I could beat all of my son's teenage friends on the expert level. My life looked totally different for a while - my house wasn't as clean, we didn't eat as healthy (because it was hard to go to the grocery store)...I just did what I had to do to get through the day, make sure my kids were educated and fed, and that's about it.

I know that you have things you have to do tonight and tomorrow - hard things - and it stinks that that kind of stuff still comes up while we're in the middle of the yucky, hard work. Call T for support if you need to, do what you need to do, and give yourself permission to just rest and BE when it's over.

It won't feel this bad forever. I promise. You'll make it.