Yes, I too have ALWAYS had fantasies of betting hurt or a severe medical illness so that I would be totally looked after, people would come see me and offer unconditional love and support. For me at least, I don't think it would take Freud to work out that this was an extreme response to an extreme upbringing of violence, abuse and neglect from a terrifying upbringing in an alcoholic home, where it was hard to be heard, to have my needs looked after etc - even my most basis needs at times - like illness etc.

It still flits around my head now but not so much - my family has shown itself to be ABSOLUTELY uninterested in my welfare, although I have shown plenty of love and care for THEM, so I think I've been diabused of fantasies about being looked after by them - it's good to move on from that delusional state.