Feeling a whole lot better - I really just get knocked flat with depression that just pounces on me. Wednesday mid-day it started, by that afternoon I was so depressed I didn't know what to do, Thursday I was highly emotional, and by Thursday afternoon more or less stable.
Now, I can only express this here on this forum, as most people will think I'm a total nutter: how do u go from ok, to suicidal, to ok, in like a matter of 2 days? When I get so down, I need to do something about it, and quick.
And just before Wednesday I was just thinking to myself how much more stable I felt now that the sodium valporate dosage had been doubled.
Finished writing my exams, and what will be, will be (At least I got 2 days off work, which also seems to be a toxic environment).
Finally plucked up the courage to phone my pdoc 5 minutes ago. Told her I felt the double dose of Epilim had dragged my cycle out from every week to biweekly. But that the depression still knocked me totally flat some days.
All she could say is that there is no magic cure, and as long as we are making some progress, it makes sense to continue in that vein.
I think I may have been hoping she'd put me on Welbutrin and Lamictin. So in 2 weeks I phone her again.
In the mean time, I'm beginning to think I really need to go see a psychologist too. I'm not sure that's what you guys mean when you talk about therapists...?
My appointments with my pdoc have been quite frequent (Max 4 weeks apart, as it's a new doc and I want to get the meds right) and they are about 1 hour, as she does do a bit of therapy. At the same time I'm concerned she's not the type to build up a relationship with me, and who I can phone to say I'm in a quandary and need help - NOW!
I understand that's not really the function of a pdoc. So that's why I think I need to see a psychologist. (s)he can get to know me, and when (s)he see's there's a problem, can phone the pdoc and maybe her/his call will hold more weight than when I phone and sound like a hypochondriac. I hate the thought of having to try ANOTHER pdoc...
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