So sorry to hear what a dreadful year you've been through, that's really tough and I think anyone in your situation would have found it very hard to cope.
Is there much available to you in terms of outpatient care? Inpatient might be the ideal thing for you but if your insurance doesn't cover it and you can't afford it, try to find out what you CAN get.
Are you seeing a therapist? Perhaps with their help you can work on little steps you can take now to help you start to get out of this depression. Don't give up hope x