((((((((((sawe)))))))))))

Yes, I absolutely have gone back and forth between thinking I don't need therapy and thinking I can't live without it.

For me, it seems like the times when I think I don't need therapy are times when I am trying to avoid something. The thing is, I *really* feel at those moments that I don't need therapy...and then I'll talk to T about it, and things will come up, and I'll realize that it was just my subconscious trying to avoid the yuck. I really am grateful now that I never quit at any of the times when I had that feeling, because I imagine I would be stuck at the level of healing I was at when I quit. I'm glad that I am giving myself a chance to heal.

I don't think that it's a matter of a "lack of focus". Therapy is hard. We are dealing with our past, our present, and our future in these little 50 minute chunks of time. I know that for me, sometimes it's just a big swirly mess and it's SO hard to pick out what's the most important. I really do believe that just showing up, week after week, month after month, is half the battle.

What if you talked to T about how you're feeling?