(((sugahorse))) I do know how you feel about being okay then suicidal then okay. Just last week I had suicidal thoughts come to me out of nowhere followed by an anxiety attack because I could never do that to my kids. I think it is because I cut my geodon in half due to the side affects of making me into a zombie. Either way I have had those thoughts a couple of times this month but the rest of the time I am fine. I didnt share on here about them for some reason but I want you to know your not alone. All I can do is break it down and tell myself I am not going to take too many pills RIGHT NOW. And then 5 minutes later the same thing, until I go to sleep (with the right amount of meds prescribed) and then when I wake up the next morning the thought is not only gone from my mind but its absurd to even think I was in such a state just hours ago. Anyways, Im here if you ever want to talk feel free to PM me. TAKE CARE! And enjoy your time off work!