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May 28, 2010, 11:58 AM
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Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: U.S.
Posts: 10,383
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xtree
We have talked about him in a few sessions and she believes he “likes” me too much and he is crossing boundaries with me.... She thinks I need try to be more clear with him and recommend I keep my distance.
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This is what disturbs me about this situation. It's not like he is just a casual friend who needs help. He is someone with a history of boundary crossing with you and that your T recommends you keep your distance from. Perhaps seeing your therapist is another boundary crossing for him, a way that he will use to grow "closer" to you. He will learn all about your T and what it is like to be a client with her. He and you would now have this "in common." It doesn't feel right to me, based on what little you've said.
I had this guy friend in college, and right after we graduated, he was making money by painting people's houses. He contacted my family, who lived 1000 miles from our university, and said he would paint their house for a good fee. So he traveled all that way, they put him up in their house, he slept in my old bedroom, which still had some of my belongings and clothes in it, he got to know my parents, etc. This guy really liked me in college (understatement), but we were just friends because I wasn't interested. I always felt like he went to live with my parents that summer just to get more information about me, and learn about my home, my parents, etc. (I remained living near our college.) Xtree, that's kind of how I see your friend, who went to the trouble to sleuth out the name of your T, set up an appointment, all unbeknownst to you, etc.
Xtree, if you are not comfortable with his seeing your T, please tell your T. Your T can give him some referrals to suitable colleagues.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xtree
He is in a really bad way right now and I would never deny anyone treatment or any care they may need.
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You are not denying this guy treatment. There are many therapists out there for him to choose from.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xtree
He doesn’t know that I know and I have no intentions in talking to him about it.
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Your T can tell him without your name even being mentioned. She can just say she's not taking new clients, or his issues are out of her scope of practice, etc. She will know what to say without revealing anything about whether you know or not.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships."
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