Yeah, Medicated, I agree that musikrazy put it very well. Was thinking this morning that for those of us who keep the bipolar thing from others (employers, friends, family etc) for various reasons -- and that is a lot of us -- there is the additional burden of keeping up the mask. And that adds an extra layer of exhaustion and pressure from people who otherwise might be able to cut some slack (ie. care for in some measure). Does that make sense?

My biggest mask right now is trying to find work. I'm having trouble enough getting anywhere putting on the very best mask in the closet, but know full well that that is the only way. It's exhausting and makes me feel like a liar. And in every other regard but trying to hide the BP, I'm ridiculously honest. It's emotionally exhausting. And that's before even having to perform a job day to day... Ugh.

With physical issues, the needs for accomodation can be more obvious and it's hard not to think, "if only...". Which sounds perverse, but it's not the wishing for affliction, but the conveyance of the need for care, isn't it?