I have a long history of SI & suicide attempts. The most recent put me into the hospital yet again. I got out about a month ago, but am still dealing w/ many thoughts. I often wish I could die, just not by my hand. I don't want to be this way.
So now the temptation to SI is becoming greater & greater...just a little cut, etc, nothing that's too dangerous. Yet I know once I start it becomes worse & I quickly get to the point of being so tired of being sick that I just want out.
This is not how I want people to know me, some suicidal crazy person. It's not the example I want to set for kids. But I can't seem to stop. Right now the urges are pretty strong. I don't want to give in, but yet I do. Again I ask, "What's so bad..."