Thanks very much for the thoughtful replies but you do not seem to understand the magnitude of the problem.

The pic of a kitten seeing a lion doesn't come close to the relationship and connection we share - a previous owner seemed to think of her as a female extreme sports model. She was confused and not overly keen by that imposed "dream".

She has as much potential as I if not more but the if not more part is due to my love for her.

She would attempt to eat a live cow if she thought I really wanted her to - however as she knows me so well - it is extremely unlikely that this has ever crossed her INNOCENT mind.

The only time she seems content to eat what is put in front of her is when someone else is looking after her for me.

And as I am utterly alone sometimes without her - this would break my heart - even though I'm not sure in what way exactly a heart can be broken a million times and still keep beating there it is look.

Again, I am grateful to be here but you have no idea how many times (virtually all times) people have attempted to give me advice that has turned out to be like shadows in the dark - I'm sure that's not my saying and abstract as it is, it's pretty rubbish in my humble opinion.

I will just add (apologeesz) that anyone who mentions paradox to me who doesn't really understand anything of such a concept is a bit like a red rag to a bull - which, incidentally is also nonsense as it is not the red rag at all that annoys most bulls. Try, the fact that people are trying to annoy it for starters and that's just the tip of an enormous iceberg that would not melt in the centre of the Earth.

How can I be even welcome here? If everything I write could be so triggering? Will you chase me away from here too?

I will now post my latest creative effort for you but don't imagine that it is an enjoyable process for me all the time, please.

Stark777 (that is actually just my heart in this particular case and I will attempt to indicate somehow?? when it's not just my heart beating)