That is a great synopsis, bluegirl...?. Now comes the "do" part. What can you do to make the life you envision more of a reality?

The first step is to break things down into more manageable parts. "First you write down your goal; your second job is to break down your goal into a series of steps, beginning with steps which are absurdly easy." ~Fitzhugh Dodson

Internally, you want everything to be okay, with less drama. Write out what is not okay. Pick one of the not-okays and work on a solution. Make sure you reward yourself for successes. There likely will be a lot of mini steps to take. Face what has to be done and knock them off the list.

Good luck.