*** Sex TRIGGER ***

I'm not quite sure how to word this so it's not graphic.

If you are a CSA survivor, and have sex now (alone or with company)..well...when you try to...um...ya know...see fireworks...are your thoughts elsewhere? (does anyone actually stay in the moment??) And if your thoughts are elsewhere, do you think of good things or bad.

I think of bad things - abuse related...but not exactly abuse.

I wish I didn't have to, but it's the only way I can EVER see fireworks. I want to think of nice things instead....but if I do - no KaBoom for me. Nice things would be like...um...doing it with George Clooney, or John Stewart! :-) The bad things, well...they're bad. And they make me feel sick later.

em

Phew.