You have been so brave, wepow, in putting yourself out there and taking risks in order to get better. I just want to say that, first. You don't have to worry if you are being negative or not, you don't have to put on that happy face here. We are happy for you when you are happy and just as willing to be here for you when you are not.

Secondly, I'm so sad for you. I see so much of myself in your words, and I know your pain, I really do. Feeling let down, abandoned, by everyone in your life, feeling like you are here without a purpose other than feeling pain. Yeah, I know that too well.

Also, the part about feeling like it must be YOU that is what is "wrong" in every relationship, because you are the only constant. I used that same word you did, broken, in talking about this very thing with my T. It is so hard to feel so broken, in such a deep, deep way that cannot be touched or even seen by anyone else.

I know that right now you feel hopeless about your relationship w/T, but I still have hope. I hope that you are able to work through this rupture and that you will learn in the process that you are NOT broken, that there is more to life than pain.