I have little patience, defensive and quick to start yelling when my bf and I start fighting. I continue to push his buttons until he starts yelling back when all he wants is for me to stop yelling at him so that we can actually figure out how to solve the real problem. This last fight was totally stupid and I'm at fault. I made a big deal over nothing and it ended where we fought like cats and dogs and I wouldn't stop yelling until I literally became sick. (A side note: I have seizures where I faint.) I don't like the way I fight and I can see it in my bf's eyes that he's tried of it and it makes him so unhappy. He tells me that no matter what it is I always have a way to turn it around to where it is always his fault. He said just because I've been this way all your life and my own family have put it with it, it doesn't mean he has to live with it for the rest of his life. He's made me realize how unhappy I've made him and I want to change.

How do I get a hold of my anger? In the mist of my raw emotions I just want to defend myself and lash out. Help me I don't want to lose my bf. I feel so horrible about myself. I'm not fighting fair.