Quote:
Originally Posted by Rohag
((((((( Googley! )))))))
Please feel free to ignore or simply not openly reply to the following questions.
- What kind of "successful" are/were you supposed to be?
- Who and/or what planted that specific "success" mandate in you?
- Are you following your own vision, another's vision for you that you've genuinely appropriated for yourself, or another's vision that has been foisted upon you?
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1. I was supposed to move to grad school and complete my degree. I wasn't supposed to have my professors think I'm a failure. (and yes they do, this isn't a projection) My degree was supposed to help me get to the point where I could work in a profession helping people. Helping people makes me happy.
2. I guess part of it is that I have to be as good as my brothers. If I don't succeed then I'm a failure. And I already know how my parent's view one of my brothers for not making it through grad school. But at the same time, I know I can't do what I want to with my life without this degree. So it is internal too.
3. This is my want. And this is the only way to get there. (literally)
And all I'm doing is failing.
without this it feels like there is nothing.