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Thank you for this thread, l*r. I’m happy to hear something has shifted for you in a positive way!
It's interesting that you write about living vs. surviving. A couple months ago a thought popped into my head that I have really been concentrating on. "If I am going to be alive, I don't want to feel like this". I have been asking myself what I need to do to change how I feel. How can I make being here "worth it"? What do I value in myself and others? What people do I WANT to keep in my life and which ones do I NEED to let go of? I have recently been exploring what I need to do on a daily basis to take care of my mental and physical health.
My T and I are working on a daily routine to fit my self-care needs into my day. My goal is to make my mental health as important as going to work. I am very willing to put the extra effort in at work, why am I not willing to do the same for my mental wellbeing? I am proud to say I have made some progress toward my goal. (Being okay about feeling proud is new for me.)
~I am learning how different foods affect my mood. I am learning what I should eat together and when.
~I am taking supplements which have made a world of difference!
~I have started T’ai Chi classes and practice it daily.
~I am evaluating my relationships. Appreciating and nurturing the healthy ones and setting aside the unhealthy ones. (BTW…this is extremely difficult. I am trying to walk away from the unhealthy ones in a respectful way. So they are clear about what doesn’t work for me and so I feel settled inside about how I handled them. Respect goes both ways.)
~I am working thru the book Unstuck by James Gordon, M.D. with my T. It’s eye opening!
~I am almost done with DBT. I only have 2 sessions left and I feel ready to be done with group. (I will miss some of my peeps terribly.) There is an after care group available if I feel I need a little support. It helps that my T is trained in and teaches DBT, however she is not one of my DBT therapists.
~My T and I are also starting to work on my abandonment issues. We have been skating around this issue for a while now. She will be leaving within a year and has encouraged me to confront this issue head on. I took her challenge.
I just realized as I was typing all this out that I am in the midst of a lot of changes. I did not start all of this at one time. As I become more aware of what I need/want I concentrate more in that area. When I felt comfortable with something new, I add something else to the equation. I am easily overwhelmed, so it is important that I take it at a manageable speed.
I have also read Frankl’s book and it was life changing. The concept that resonated with me most is how he related films to life. How each individual frame of a film doesn’t have much meaning, but when you put them all together to make a movie, a story is created. The full meaning can only be realized after you have seen the whole movie. The individual frames of the movie are like moments in life. Moments may not have much meaning individually, but when you put them together they form your life’s story. We will not know what “this” all means until we get to the end of our life and can put it into perspective. (Did that make sense? I had a hard time getting it out. Um…read the book…it’s worth it!)
Sorry for the lengthy post. I didn’t know I had so much to say.
- slip
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