i don't know what i want to do. i think my fwb would stay friends with me without the sex, but i don't think i could stay friends with him, knowing he had someone else.
i am aware this is going nowhere. we do not love each other. he will move on to someone better, eventually. when this happens, i seriously doubt if i will cheat again. for one, the guilt is overwhelming at times. for another, i have not found anyone i clicked with so immediately, and i doubt if i will again.
i too, have been cheated on. the love of my life, whom lived with for 4 years cheated every chance he got. i was unaware of any of this until i came home from work early and found him in my bed with someone else.
so, am i well aware of the devastating emotional effects of what i am doing. yet i need this time away from my problems, a small speck of fun into this bleak mess my life has turned into. i feel like the person i used to be when i am with him. and it isn't just the sex. several weeks can go by before anything physical happens.
even if this were a love situation, i doubt if i could leave my husband for him.
yes, i have made a poor choice. yes, i am incredibly selfish. my quest is to find out why i have chosen this path.
it is so unlike me, and i think about it constantly, sometimes i think i am obsessing over the situation and my fwb, well, i know i am. i hope to find some answers here, not judgements. i know what i am for engaging in this behaviour. hence my screen name, it is the main character from the scarlet letter.