I am thinking about being honest with your husband. I mean this is not only your battle but his as well. A marriage in order to work is a partnership. It seems that you have certain needs that your husband fails to provide. If he becomes aware of this, probably he can better provide. I hope you find healing soon. If it troubles you so much and you really wish to get out of your 'hurting' predicament, then it is best to seek professional help and to involve your husband in the process...Best to you and hope everything works out for you and your family.