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bipolarbearV · May 29, 2010, 08:15 PM

If your BF is soon to become your fiancee, I say run for the hills as nothing you can do can make her like you. I married a man who I thought lived in a perfect home with perfect family. For 29 years she treated me OK in front of others and like xxxx behind their backs.

She would say she should have gone to Hollywood. I wish she had and had been rejected! That would have cured her narcissium! She ALWAYS had to be in the center of any photograph. I was surprised when she let the brides and grooms be in the center of their wedding photos! She would also cock her head sideways to make sure she was more noticeable in the pics. When our kids were young I spent a small fortune buying Olan Mills photos made on good paper not made to fade. The pics included her son and our sons and rarely me as I don't do well in photos. Well, to rub her self-love in my face she would send me 3-4 of the same close up photos of her face in each letter she sent. This was years after the kids were grown and she was making fun of me sending all those pics of the boys. All I was trying to be was a good daughter in law!! She tilted her head and wore a straw brimmed hat held onto the back of her head with her hand. It was so syrupy sweet. I just thought she was wierd until the # got to be over 100!!
I wanted to wallpaper my bathroom with all those photos and send her a picture of it. I esp. wanted to see her pic. behind the toilet where the guys probably accidentally used it for target practice!! But of course I didn't.

I spent hours writing her letters which eventually I was indirectly criticized for because I did not send them to her in my best penmanship as her daughter did. She tried to make me wear her 1945 all satin wedding gown and was successful with several other brides in and out of the family. She wanted any female to just try it on to prove to her that everyone was fatter than her 85 pounds when she got married. That made her feel superior. I did not ever try on that dress!! I told her I thought every bride should have the pleasure of picking out their very own dress. She didn't like that. She gave me a Emily Post book on manners and hell, I was the only one who had any for her. My ex NEVER once wrote one word to her. My sons very rarely wrote thank you cards. But yet I got the criticism!! She didn't like our 2 medium sized dogs but she taught her poodle to growl at me. That was rude but I didn't do anything back. She did much, much more and after our divorce she left a public function without so much as a goodbye. I gave her everything and she constantly kicked me emotionally.

So no matter how much you love this guy I wouldn't marry him unless you move far away or unless your BF will stand up to his Mom and take or defend your side. Been there and done that, too. It REALLY hurts especially because everyone thinks she's so generous with her money and so nice for always doing kind things for them. Well, what about me? I tried everything.
I was done dirly by her and my ex and now am almost homeless.

PS. One post had some good suggestions and I have used them. I admit I've never met the 3 of you but I just had to vent. Who knows, you could get lucky with this lady. But unless your BF defends you NOW don't expect him to defend you later!! bipolarbearV