You may have read my thread about my hoarding. I have been talking to producers at TLC and we have agreed to film for the show. They are supposed to be here June 5 to begin filming.

They asked about my family. I told them my mom is a hoarder. I also told them I do not have a good relationship with my mom and sisters when they asked if they might come to be filmed. I asked my sister if TLC could film my mother's hoarding and my sister emphatically said no.

The assistant producer asked for my mom/sisters' telephone number and said she wanted to get some perspective on what I was like growing up and all. Just information seeking. I was fine with that and in my email I asked that she tell them that I am tentatively considering filming because I do not want them to know details.

Today I got a copy of an email that my sister sent to the asst producer saying they would be happy to come to my house to be filmed next week. I am furious. How dare the producer invite them to my house without asking me. My family did not visit me when my house was cluttered nor when it was clean but a chance for five minutes of celebrity and here they come. I told the producer that when I killed my violent BF in self defense my sister had talked to somebody at our local newspaper, which was fine because she had no way to contact me because I was with the state trooper for five hours. But she told me the reporter had asked her to call back the next day for an update and I said I don't want you to call her but my sister said but I promised and called her despite my wishes. She got her name in the newspaper. I guess that is what she wanted.

I left a voicemail just now for the real producer saying we have a big problem, call me and sent an email. In the email I mentioned how my mother reacted when a few years ago she found out her brother sexually assaulted me as a child and she denied that it was him, I must have it confused it was probably my dad, and then she asked how far up did he stick it? Empathy huh? She died to me as a mother that day. I also wrote in the email that a few months ago when she invited him to a meal that she invited me to I declined to come because I was tired of pretending nothing happened and she said oh when you said he did that I thought you were joking. haha funny joke.

I am afraid this is going to be a big problem now between my family and me. How can I smooth this over yet not have them filmed at my house? I do not want to have a Jerry Springer type video.

I am furious. I emailed their office. I left voicemail for the asst who screwed everything up and left voicemail for the producer that we have a big problem. I am furious. Furious. Did you catch that I am furious?