My mother apologised for abusing me, I know that she genuinely meant it. It was only a recent thing, a few weeks ago. She I said 'I'm sorry I was a bad mother' and she started crying. I know she didn't mean to do the things she did, she couldn't take care of herself let alone another person.
Her boyfriend that abused me also 'apologised' to me while he was in jail. He only did so to keep my mother around until he got out and could start all over again. He knew that him being in jail for 9 months was going to be the time that my mother realised what he had done and would leave him, so he wrote her sappy letters, he apologised a million times, blah blah blah. Then one day I came home and there was a letter sitting there for me. I've got it typed out on the computer too, here's an excerpt-

''You have good reason to be angry with me.

I have no excuse for my irresponsible behaviour, my reckless anger as a ....... to a spoilt brat who had no consideration for other people.

If you do not wish to read any further I would understand.

I deserve all the rejection of your Grace and understanding I get Amy if you decide to ignore this letter. It's I who is to blame. It's all my own doing. I have only myself to blame for not being in my right mind. To have behaved the way in which I have in the recent past. Sorry would never be enough from me to You. Not even a breath to being good enough for what You rightly deserve from me.
If you are still reading, thank you, it is more than I deserve taking account of my actions in the past. I am truly frightened to know what to write, because I am in fear of being rejected, being cut off from You. Being cut off from Your forgiveness, from ever being able to enjoy Your company, to see Your Beautiful Bubbly smile again. For Your forgiveness truly means everything to me, more than You may realise. I have wanted to write to you each and every day, but have been to frightened to know what to say and to know where to start.''


That's the first paragraph, and it goes on for 5 more pages. Did he mean any of it? Nope. Did he change when he got out? Nope. Did he ever tell me the things he said in the letter to my face? Nope. Did he do all the things he promised in the letter? Nope. Did he really give a crap about me? Nope.

I didn't fall for any of it, but sadly my mother did, and as soon as he got out it started all over again.

It's funny how a simple 'I'm sorry for what I did' can make up for so much, but a five page sappy letter of apologies and crap about God can be nothing more that some paper and bad spelling.