Quote:
Originally Posted by Blacklordheaven
For years now I've been unable to feel pretty much anything, only when there's extreme stimulus am I able to feel, be it love, anger, hate, joy, etc....
At this point in my life, it's extremely important for me to regain it, in any way possible. Indifference had its use but now I feel as if I'm losing so much of life. The world of thought has become inane and boring. I'm sick of it and would do anything to feel again, either bad or good, just SOMETHING.
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For me, chasing something that I think I
should be experiencing seems never to have brought me anything but trouble. The way out of wherever I've been stuck has always turned out to be to pay close attention to whatever I
am aware of, and allow it to be just the way it is. For instance:
"it's extremely important for me to regain it, in any way possible"
"I feel as if I'm losing so much of life"
"The world of thought has become inane and boring."
"I'm sick of it"
Those were apparently what you happened to be aware of when you posted that. Not always feelings
per se; perhaps more like attitudes, another mode of experiencing. They may even have been part of a story you were telling yourself to distract yourself from something else -- still another mode of experiencing. Perhaps the most obvious way to block out something you're experiencing, is to think it must be a mistake and you should be making yourself experience something different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blacklordheaven
It's funny, really, how hard it is to remove blockages and mechanicsms we ourselves created.
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I used to struggle constantly against "blockages and mechanisms". It took me quite a while to realize that those blockages and mechanisms didn't have an existence separate from me. I was creating them and keeping them in place precisely by struggling against them. It was only when I
discovered what I was doing to keep them in place and could be aware of
choosing to do it, that I could also choose not to.