Hi PufNStuf, it sounds like time may or may not be a problem. You mention you don't know how long your relationship will last, maybe it will continue to last and you will have the time necessary. It sounds like you are having regret of things past and uncertainty of things ahead and that must be a hard path to be on. Since you cannot have that year back, I think it would be better not to expend much energy with regrets. Nor would I spend much energy on trying to fortune tell the future. I agree with Fresia that you should break it down into small steps but it does sound as though you do need to take that first step. Good luck and I have faith you can do it. shaggy