I thought more about this thread and here is my reply on what changes have happened since starting therapy:

1) T has HEARD me. For the first time in my life, I have been heard and believed about the abuse. This has freed me from a TON of pain I had carried with me my entire life.

2) I have learned how to take responsibility for my feelings and behavior. I am no longer going through life blaming my misery on the actions of the past. I understand how the abuse harmed me, but T taught me how to claim my present. If I am sad about something, I now know how to trace the triggers and I know how to shift my awareness of the emotion IF I WANT TO. But sometimes I want to sit in my pain so I can allow it to process fully. T taught me that it is OK to do that at times and it can be a choice. This is such a big difference for me and has opened the doors to my internal world wide open.

3) T taught me how to draw boundaries. T shows me by example what boundaries look like. I don't always like those boundaries, but I never had a parent draw boundaries. Because I trust my T on a very deep level, I see his actions with boundaries as being the way things should be as opposed to the way my parents were. And that gives me a brand new ability to draw my own boundaries and not feel guilty about doing so. The ability for me to respect the boundaries of others and draw my own boundaries without guilt is life changing again.

4) T taught me it is OK to make mistakes. He sometimes falls down and gets back up again. That means I can fall down and get up again too. I don't think less of my T for making mistakes and that makes me able to forgive my own mistakes. He learns from his experiences and that shows me that I can also learn from my experiences.

5) T taught me it is OK to feel. Right now I am in the teenage / selfish state in part of my healing. I am very much like the teen who goes into the bedroom and yells at the parents behind the safety of a closed door. I do that in Email to my T. But my T does not reply back and just lets me throw a fit. It is awesome because I trust my T to allow me the safe space to do that. I sometimes think he is mad at me when this is going on, but I know it is a way he is allowing me to grow up my internal teen. When I was a teen, I was not allowed any space or room where I could go and yell at my parents in a safe way. If we said anything they took offense to - the result was borderline catastrophic! It amazes me because I just allow myself to send those teenage emails and I can let myself feel those immature emotions and my T stays constant. It is another example of good re-parenting. And it is teaching me how to treat myself when those parts of me decide to throw a fit. This concept is still being solidified for me, so sorry if this doesn't make much sense. But it is a very awesome tool that T is teaching me in this way.

There is tons more but after thinking about this question a lot yesterday, that is my answer.