Thanks fins. I don't know, I don't even feel "numb" per se, I just don't have any feelings about it at all. I know that it happened and I know that it was wrong, but that is about it. I know when I talk about it I can talk about what happened without becoming emotional or crying, it happened, I don't see what good crying about it is going to do (this is in no way condemning crying, this is just my own personal experience). Maybe that is how I have coped, but I am not for sure. It is all very confusing. My therapist keeps asking me "What did you do with those feelings?" after I talk about something. I usually just say "I don't know." I mean feelings aren't material things that you have to "do something with" in my experience. I guess if you ignore them then they just go away? Maybe I was angry about the abuse when it happened, but some of this stuff has been years ago now and I just don't get upset about it anymore. T says it makes her sad, but I just want to say "Well, that's because you haven't gotten used to it yet!" Once you have been treated this way for so long you start to stop being surprised when it happens.