Thank you guys for responding! =)

I guess I failed to mention that some of the incompletes are 4 years old! =P

Pretty much, I've got countless documents and the head of Student Mental Health that saw me for 7 years ready to help me appeal anything. What I'm trying to avoid is having to re-take classes, although that really may be my best option....unfortuantely, with the incompletes, it took my GPA down. I'm not sure I'd be accepted into the state university that is near me....I'm pretty sure I could petition to have those classes dropped, but I already put so much work into them...but I guess that's not helping me much now. I did do something positive and contact a local history professor to ask if he knew anyone (grad student/TA) that would do tutoring...hopefully that may help just set me back on the right path...I did most of my writing in a manic phase....funny enough, I couldn't complete papers in depressive stages...and therefor finished less and less class material.

I am lucky in that the professors knew me well before I went over my "cliff" and I thank God I worked so hard before then. Obviously they could see a change in me/my work over the years....I went to a HUGE, hard-to-get-in school and it really "made my day" that my professors noticed and encouraged me through my department.

Anyway, I'm not worried about the school/professors letting me finish....I'll find a way around that (or maybe that's just a grandiose notion talking...somehow I've managed to get around all of that stuff and deadlines - to wait until I was manic to research/write).

I didn't even suspect BPD...even though I knew I could only write my academic reviews/term papers in certain moods. Now I know...but I can't encourage mania to help me with school....

Another option would be for me to complete maybe 3 of the classes at my undergrad instituion and then maybe 2 of the ones I'm really struggling with here. Some of the classes just need one paper to finish...others are a lot more.

I am going to find a tutor or someone in that capacity to just sit down with me...let me talk it through...help me with breaking it down...I get so overwhelemd when I write down everything I need to do for each class.

Fresia, thank you for your kind words! I've kept in touch with the profs. year after year...and I just feel SO horrible that I haven't completed them that I can't bear to contact them again unless it is to submit everything and apologize.

Shaggy, thank you, too, for your kind words! I do have regrets about past impulsive decisions/actions...sometimes they've really hurt me, and sometimes the decisions have been great for me. I know you know the feeling (or at least, I think I'm not alone in this).

I think I feel worried about the relationship because I haven't saved any money...the allowance (or whatever..) I get is twice as much as I made working....but the thing I enjoy most is making my family/friends happy (if they had it, they would do the same!), so I've pretty much spent it all on that and paying off the remainder of my school debt.

Anyway, I'm trying to make myself save at least half of it every month so I don't feel so anxious about that. I could also get back into modeling and make money that way, but that sends my ED into high gear....and stresses me out.

I'm going to try my goal-setting habits again (i went to a really great two-week program that gave me all sorts of plans to help myself, but I've gotten lazy. Joining this forum has been extremely helpful for me because I need to actively engage in managing my BP...if I'm not paying attention to it, I tend to forget it's impact on my life....when I am conscientious about it, it impacts me a lot less.

Sorry for the rambling, but I'm really happy I found such a wonderful place. Thanks for listening/responding. I'll write soon and report on my progress.

As silly as it sounds, it would be nice to be "accountable" to a group, rather than struggle with it myself.