Oh dear gosh I can not get out of this funk. My anxiety is high, my pill isn't helping, I can't stop thinking, my low is really really really low and I can't get out of it.
I want, so badly, to just be alone....just by myself. I can't let the hubby know, he worries and would want to talk...but I don't want to "talk". I want to sit here, in my bed, on my laptop, coming here to try to figure out what the heck I can do.
I feel such desperation that I haven't felt in a long time. I know, I know in my heart that I will get through this, but sometimes the waiting is just too hard. I want to sleep through it. I don't want to wake up until this horrible nightmare is over.
I have T on Tuesday, but it seems soooo far away.
I am having bad dreams and can't eat..I just can't. I made breakfast, had a piece of toast and 3 bites of my meal....that was it. I can't eat anymore. It is 2pm, my nephew is coming over tonight to hang out with my son. It's going to be hard to have two boys here at the same time.
OMG I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

OK, I am done....I just want this to end....I just want it over with.
I wish someone could take it all away. Just flush it down the toilet.