Thank you all who replied with such words of encouragement. My sweet Little did such a wonderful job last night! I'm very proud of her!!


She's sad right now...very sad. She thinks she let me down. I hurt myself pretty badly earlier today. She heard me thinking that it was worse today because I didn't do it last night.

But I'm trying to explain to her that I'm glad she did what she did last night. The urge was fairly strong last night, but she/we were able to not cut. The fact that we didn't cut is huge!! I'm so sad that my little baby Little is hurting inside. The mean ones were just too over powering today.

My littlest Little aches the most when I hurt myself. All the rest of us seem to go numb about it. Sometimes it even makes me feel better. It only hurts her though.

As I try to understand and accept DID as part of who I am, I'm looking at those inside me as more separate, which seems odd since the goal is to work together. But I guess I have to learn what everyone does first. My T says Little is the brave one. I have to wonder how someone so tiny, someone only a few years old, someone with such a small scope of understanding can be so strong, so big, so wise!!!! I feel like emotionally she towers over me! She has such a greater grasp on emotions than I do.

I want to say to my sweet baby Little: I'm so proud of you for standing up to the mean ones last night. Don't let the negative things I think hurt you. We'll tell T this week what you did and he is going to be proud too! I don't want to tell you not to be sad. Wanting you not to be sad when you hurt is selfish of me because it makes me feel guilty when I hurt you. So, it's okay to feel sad and to feel betrayed and to feel mad and to feel pain. I love you Little.