rainbow, I understand this, too. I think it was really brave of you to tell her that you looked her up online. I would not be that brave.

I was going to suggest exactly what ripley did, what if you looked at it on google maps? You can get some idea of the neighborhood and the view or whatever, without crossing the physical boundary. Because I think you know that driving by her house *would* be crossing a boundary. I'm not saying that it's a boundary for everyone, but your T already told you she was scared that you looked her up.

Maybe try looking it up in google maps and see if the internal pressure and pain you feel lets up any?