The answers were all helpful because I see that I have a problem with boundaries that I need to talk about in therapy. I never liked "secrets" or information withheld from me, going right back to when kids in 5th grade would pass notes and I'd be left out.

So, what I did--thank you Ripley and Zooropa--is look at her house on Googlemaps. I didn't realize there was a street level view! I've just used Mapquest for directions. It did make the urge to actually drive by less, but I still feel a little guilty and I don't know if I will tell her what I did or not. She doesn't live in a "mansion" so I feel better about that. I wanted to know what kind of lifestyle she lived, and I'm somewhat relieved.

imapatient: I'm glad it worked out for you and you got over the urge to drive by your T's house. My T is not "so" worried. I had told her I didn't want her to be angry, and she said her feeling wasn't anger, but that she was scared, that I was crossing a boundary. It's because I looked up more than the average person would because I'm interested in genealogy. I understand why she would be scared.

ripley: I do see why it would be a boundary crossing and I know kids need to be told "no" but I still feel hurt inside. Maybe it goes back to feeling left out as a kid, and wanting to part of the cliques. Thanks for suggesting googlemaps!

ECHOES: I can still imagine what the inside of her house looks like, but that makes me feel sad. This is child stuff. When I do transference, I do it big-time, LOL.

Elysium: The problem is that this IS my issue. I can't get away from it. I know it's not about her, but it's about wanting to be with her. Transference. I have my work in therapy laid out for me.

zoo: I feel better! The urge is gone, but now I still feel like I crossed a boundary, but not as major of one than if I actually drove by her house. Thanks for suggesting googlemaps.

Rapunzel, now I have a new dilemma. Do I talk about wanting to drive past her house, and not tell her what I did, or maybe I will forget it and see how I feel. Seeing the house and neighborhood online satisfied my curiousity for now.

tree: I'll probably still talk about it, but I'm not sure I can say that I looked at the googlemaps. So, I probably shouldn't have done that either. I might say I'm afraid of crossing boundaries with her and talk about why I have these urges. Thanks for your help.

Moosetracks: Yes, it bothers me a lot! I don't want to lose my T. I know I will tell her about the urges that I have.

velcro: I'm not afraid I wouldn't stop doing more, but it might make me obsess more. I think the answer for me is to talk about it with her. I have to get to the bottom of it. I need to tell her how I feel. That's the crucial part, not whether I go by her house or not. At least that's what it seems like to me right now.