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Originally Posted by AkAngel
Like everyone, you have certain preconceptions you have taken into this relationship. Personally, I don't agree with them. Now that doesn't make them wrong, but perhaps you might take another look at them. For instance, you said, "I have always said you know a person by his past by the amount of friends he still has from his past especially if there friends from when he was a kid."
I don't collect friends, I have very few, but I can count of them unequivocally and would give my life for any of them. None of them are from my childhood.
You've also said, "I want my man to be a man..."
What is a man? In todays world more than at any time in history the definition of 'what being a man' means is unraveling. Perhaps his concept of what being a man is different; have you asked him? For instance, you said, "...
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when I am angry with him I will ask him to leave but he won't..." If you are interested in ending the relationship, why is it that you don't leave? It seems that you have an expectation that the man should leave if the relationship is not working; you are free to do so as well.
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I don't know if the relationship is worth saving; no one here will. Too, we only hear one side of the story and while I am not doubting that you are accurately explaining the situation exactly as you see it, he might see it entirely different. It sounds to me like the two of you need more communication and less blaming, as well as some counseling if this has a chance.
Good luck to you. |
thank-you for responding but the reason why I don't leave is because I own the house it is in my name and this is also our son's home and he would not be able to raise a son on his own especially since I have always been the "main" caregiver...my job enables me to be flexible for my son. I guess what I am saying is it's much to complicated to leave and in spite all that's going on I do love him and I am confused about all this it makes me so sad that it is the way it is. As far as what I meant about a man is I want him to stand up and take control of his own behaviour and treat a women the way she deserves. The term man I used was more of a way to explain...we are in our 40's and are both traditional in the way we were bought up but are here in the changing times of equality between a man & a women.
I do agree with you on the counselling thing I just wish he would agree.