I wouldn't say "important". But I do feel that only certain things would happen if I died or at least disappeared. For instance, when I was out on the street..literally because of family drama. I wished that I would have died that night because my mother would have had to live with that forever. I'm not religious yet I was begging something out there to take me. I wasn't suicidal..suicide isn't the same. My mother is so warped that if I had killed myself, she would somehow take pride in that because it meant I was mentally ill and everyone would comfort her instead and she'd be "important". If I was murdered or had a heart attack or something brutal, that is what would have made her change. I don't want to get into more details than that but I know that is what it would have taken especially that night.