Hi Radien, your posts was one of the most beautiful, bittersweet, and compassionate I've read. I wish I could take upon myself the depression of my son and my wife. I wish I could have alleviated my mothers pain before she passed away. I would gladly take more pain upon myself if it meant others could be happier. Too bad there are no such things as pain eaters. If there were I guess we would both apply for the position. I'm so sorry those around you are suffering but they are lucky to have you in their life. shaggy