Like it or not, T has seen A LOT of me. I can't take it back. I can't be scared of it "after the fact." He worked for me in a dual professional role--in my divorce--and has seen me on the "outside" interacting with other people in other contexts, and witnessed some very tense times. Sometimes I was at my best and sometimes not even close. He's seen it all, and been through many difficult moments with me. He has seen me be totally irrational--so effing angry at my financial advisor, for no apparent reason. It's embarrassing what he has seen--things he wouldn't have seen if we were confined in his office. And we did couples therapy too, so he also got to see all of that. When I allowed him to serve a dual role, I knew I would lose "control" of what he witnessed. We weren't in that carefully framed environment in his office where I got to choose what I did and did not share. I just took the plunge, and welcomed him into a very difficult part of my life. Here I was--for better or for worse.

There are times still in therapy when I am reluctant to share something with him. But it is also made easier to think back to all he has seen already. Why not this other thing too?

See, he's seen so much of me, but he just acts normal about it. He doesn't act like he's seen a lot and now despises me, thinks I'm worthless, makes fun of me, etc. He's just very normal and nonchalant about how he is with me, and that makes me feel like I am OK after all. If he looked at me sideways, moved away from me in therapy, acted like I had cooties, etc., then I might think it had been a mistake (to let him see so much). But he doesn't. I have no regrets.

Blue, I don't know if that relates to your situation or not.