My mamma has been helping me clean my house up again recently and today while she was here she told me she'd be around tomorrow after she was finished at ADA. I asked what ADA was (I know what NA and AA is but not ADA) and she said All Drugs Anonymous. I'm so excited that she is going, she's FINALLY trying to stop smoking weed!

I don't know if I've mentioned before that she used to be involved in a drug ring with her abusive boyfriend when I was younger and we had the cops watching us undercover every day, so it's a very big trigger for me now. I couldn't be around her because of it, I was so paranoid that she had done it before seeing me so even if she wasn't, I always thought she was stoned. I'd cancel days we had together 10 minutes into it because I couldn't cope, it made me feel so bad when I'd suddenly turn nasty on her and tell her I was going home.
When my 15 year old cousin moved in with her he was selling it to her, and she bought it from my father in front of me (in fact when I called my father to tell him he was my father his girlfriend initially thought I was trying to buy drugs from him).

A few months ago we had a big fight about it, she obviously had no idea it upset me so she had some friends over and I ended up sitting in the bathroom for an hour crying until they left, then I told her don't EVER talk about it in front of me, do it in front of me or see me after she's don't it. I don't want to KNOW. And if she does it will be the last time she see's me. She's chosen substances over me before, I gave her the choice to do it again.

She told me she wouldn't, but I didn't believe her. I'm SO excited that she is getting help and acknowledging it, she's never done that before, she just had the usual excuses. She even said she is telling her friends they can't do it in her house anymore or in front of her (they don't drink in front of her either so there shouldn't be much of a debate), and she wants to get a no smoking sign for her house.

Woo hoo!!!