Thanks everyone who posted and was here for me. I'm seeing t tomorrow morning. There is a possibility that she didn't get my messages, but not too likely. I feel so horrible and that i can';t let my T know how horrible because it's risky to slip backwards. I feel like i have to get thru alone and not show my pain, the severity anyway. This is just how it is for me...i'm scared and need to be good and not distress anyone else. But i have to tell her because i couldnt' possibly feel worse. I already feel the end is near i have nothing to lose. My husband and I haven't talked at all or even been in the same room since Sat.