Thanks for posting about this - I'd never really thought about why I found massage difficult - I had a massage not long after I'd been diagnosed, thinking it was something I "should" do to help me unwind a bit, but I hated it - my back became so sensitive (ticklish) that I was more tense than ever! I had a facial last year some time and that was quite nice - not so squirm-inducing. I don't have a history of abuse, but I've never been comfortable with my own physicality - have always tried to forget about me on the outside as much as possible, and as I am now more overweight than I have ever been, it's not got any easier. When my children were babies, I found I needed at least some time each day when no-one was touching me, so I suppose I've always had a bit of an issue with physical contact. This has certainly given me something to think about - thank you. I like the idea of a hot stone massage - maybe that would be worth doing.