I'm just so tired of the battle. It has really got me worn down. I know though that I'm going to wake up tomorrow, go to work and put on my happy face but come home exhausted. I'm doing all the right things like seeing my psychiatrist regularly, always taking my meds, journaling. My therapist is out of town but I'm going to see her. I'm doing everything I should be doing, but I'm still depressed. Not just unhappy, but walking thru the muck and mire depressed. I am blessed with a great family and a job I like so I see no outside reason for my feelings. I feel as though I am being punished for some reason. I've waged this war before and I know I will again in the future but right now it seems to have the upper hand. When I go through a depression like this one, it always feels like it's the first time I've ever felt this way. I forget between episodes just how miserable it can make me feel. I don't know what else to do other than ride it out, waiting for the clouds to clear. In the meantime, I hurt mentally and emotionally. shaggy