As of last night, I seem to be slipping into a depression. Nothing triggered it, that I can think of. There are physical symptoms involved. Mostly body aches and pains. Usually, and it is the case this time too, when I have a depression I have the physical sensation of pressure on my chest. Last night I described it to hubby as feeling like all three of the cats are sitting on my chest at once. My thinking is very slow, and therefore so are my body movements.

I told hubby today that it's like my brain isn't cooking on all four burners. I have a pilot light out. I have to push myself to do the very basic things. Right now all I want to do is sleep. But I did manage to get the dishwasher going, and I also have a goal set today to replace the litter in the cat boxes. I cautioned hubby that it may take me half a day to get that done. Also, he did some laundry yesterday and there is a load sitting in the dryer that is primarily my clothes. We agreed that I may or may not get to that. I'm just doing the best I can.

Our discussion included the fact that a lot of people misuse the word "depression" when they really mean "sadness" or "disappointment." As in, "Damn, the Bears lost? I'm depressed about that!" In truth, sadness is a normal emotion, while depression is an illness. What I am feeling right now has very little to do with sadness.

Hubby can grasp the "pilot light" analogy, and I have made it perfectly clear to him that there is nothing he or I can do to re-light it. I just have to wait for it to re-light itself, I suppose. Also of interest to him is the fact that a hospitalization or even a doctor's visit would do me no real good at this point. I am not a danger to myself and have no intention of self-harm. Nor am I even in crisis. I'm just operating in a diminished capacity, that's all.