I feel horrible replying this way. The day of my counselers appointment I couldn't do it. I think it started in the morning, it was just one of those mornings when nothing seems right. My dad wasn't home, he really isn't alot because of his job, and I rushed off to school alone. My appointment was late in the day and the class before I had to meet my counseler I started freaking out, I started thinking of everything that could go wrong. I got real panic-y thinking about what she would think, my god people must think I'm crazy to be like this. What if my dad found out? What if she.. laughed in my face? Now that I think back I know she probably wouldn't laugh at me.. I just felt so helpless and unaccepted. I mean how do you tell someone about all the dark feelings you have? I ended up leaving school because I was so stressed, I felt like I was sweating and my mind was racing. I just ran to my car after 5th period and went home. It was a horrible feeling, the anxiety, the doubt.. I'm very sorry to have led you on. I thought I could do it, I thought maybe somebody would help. I just can't let people in, I don't know what's wrong with me, it just feels akward and I get so nervous. I'm sorry to have let you down. I think I'll start a journal, something like that, it just feels wrong telling other people.

Thank you for listening and all of your caring responses,
Charlotte