hi rainbow,
this has turned into a really interesting post. i don't want to say whether or not i think the "driveby" is a good idea (that's for you to decide), but i did want to add an insight or two.. i know you've mentioned that staying in therapy forever was something you desired. so, perhaps driving by and knowing where she is, is a way to ensure that you will maintain that connection with her - even if you're done with the therapy. just a thought. also, maybe if you tell her about it, she will offer to give you like a rock or some dirt from her house.. i know it might sound weird (and maybe it's not appropriate - i don't know), but maybe she'd be willing to do that as a way to feel connected to her and to help ease the compulsion of wanting to go there.