Tay- I hope you can share everything you posted about with T and how you hgave been feeling. I dont think she will let you down. You really need the support. If she has to terminate at the end of the year, maybe you can see some hope in starting with someone new. I find that when I begin with a new T there is a new level of honesty that I wasnt able to get to with the old one. It may be just what is needed. I have said this before and I SO have found it to be true. When one door closes, another one opens.

About the H. Are you SURE he doesnt love you? My H and I have spent days giving each other the cold shoulder. With Ts help these times are not so often now. But I know he loves me, he just pisses me off. And I piss him off. Oh, well. Does he say maybe that he doesnt love the way you are behaving? That is diff from not loving Tay.