So much to respond to....forgive me if I miss someone. I'm having company and I'm cooking--not giving either that or this thread my full attention, lol.

Some of you still seem to be encouraging me NOT to drive by. Maybe you missed that I saw T's house using Googlemaps so now I'm satisfied, at least about her house. I'm NOT going to drive by. I saw it! But the issue is still there.

WePow, I think you're right. Something was missing as a child but I don't know what. From what I've read, and from the way I feel, it's that early mother/infant bond where the infant is almost merged with the mother. Yours is the only post in this thread that makes me feel those feelings in my stomach, and that longing...Wanting that again, or in the right way.....I'm not thinking about Bt for that anymore; it's so easily transferable to any woman T. My other Ts told me something was missing. So it's not that I don't know. I maybe haven't FELT it with a T--Bt wouldn't let me. Long ago in therapy I wouldn't talk to my Ts about my feelings at all.