((( Rainbow ))) I think you are on the verge of a MAJOR MAJOR CRITICAL life breakthrough!!!! You are feeling this and able to in a very safe way allow yourself to explore the root.
When I first started seeing my T, I knew I had to have a male T. And I knew I would want something from him that he could not give but I did not know how to explain it. I also knew he would somehow be able to give me what I actually DID need but had no way to ask for it. It has taken a ton of work but I was able to trace the root of that NEED down to the abandonment and non-protection of my father to me as an infant. I needed a father who would love me without harming me and who could protect me and teach me how to protect myself rather than watching someone harm me and turning his back on me. uggg!
Every single time I run up into issues with my T, I know that it is somehow related to the deep mystery root that I am exploring. But the more we uncover the dirt and extra stuff surrounding that root, the more clearly we can see what in the heck is going on.
It stinks. It is not fair. And it was criminal for any child to not be given the basic needs a baby has.
But now is the time both you and I can do the hard work to figure out what it was that we were robbed of... and we can explore all of that with the safety of T. I am so proud of you for not running from your pain. You are doing the work that will lead to the light at the end of this tunnel. You will get the payoff you deserve from all of this.
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