WePow: thank you for going beyond the "wanting to find T's house" surface statement. I was just thinking "I want to be inside T, not her house." I want to take that statement back, but since PC is a safe place, I won't. Yet......my life was different from yours. I've said this before. I'm not trying to be better than anyone else here. I may have been robbed, but my parents did not rob me. There was no abuse. Don't you believe me? They loved me more than anything. I know and feel that. There are no secrets in my past about that. Yet I feel the way I do. That's what isn't fair!!

bloom, you're the only one who commented on what I said about my Mom and therapy. I wasn't going to post that, since I want to discuss it with my T. But you're right. The puzzle is that something was missing as in infant too, or why would I want to merge with my T? When my Mom was alive, she was there for me, but often I didn't want her to be. She wanted to give me too much advice and be in my life too much, but it was always out of love for me. I hope T can figure it out. She said that's HER job to do.