I am not sure what your "diagnosis" is nor does it matter, but the symptoms of (a) desperate efforts to avoid being abandoned, whether the abandonment is real or imagined, and (b) feelings of emptiness and (c) lack of boundary respect, begin to fall into the Borderline diagnosis. In fact, this is the behavior we see in Borderlines -- add calling/emailing alot, as well. (Borderlines are notorious for breaking boundaries and that is why many are weary of working with them!)

Borderline personality disorder is a COMBINATION of environmental and biological stressors. So, a child does NOT have to experience abuse to develop BPD. There are numerous studies showing that some children who are biologically prediposed or have the PERSPECTIVE that they have been abandoned are prone to BPD.

For example, a child with colic who cries but yet is not or can not be soothed by mom. The child perceives this as abandonment and can go on to develop BPD.
Or a child who by nature needs alot of soothing, but mom call only give so much, can go on to develop BPD.

Do you act this way with other people -- you friends and family? Because attachment disorders permeate all relationships. (Please look up the ADULT styles of attachment) Usually attachment disorders are not just with a T.

While I agree that IFS is an excellent model of treatment for trauma related disorders, I think DBT would be more useful to you.
You did psychodynamic already with your other T, correct? And clearly you made NO progress on this issue, because you have already started with your new T.
And IFS is similar to psychodynamic, except that it deals with "parts" of the mind and letting all "parts" speak.

The thing I find disturbing is not your desire, but your actions. After your T said you were scaring her, you continued to look at her house, etc. And the only thing you seemed to care about was satisfying your desire....not your relationship with T, because if you did care about that and you knew you scared her, you would have worked much harder to avoid continuing your behavior.

What do you think would happen if next time you went to session and told your T you googled her house and located it and saw it. How do you think that would affect your relationship? Part of the trust is broken and some T's would terminate.

Desire is one thing; behaviors are another.