Quote:
Originally Posted by tractionbeam0610
Rainbow did not drive by the house. She looked at it online and then distracted herself in a positive manner by doing other things...partly because she DOES care more about than just satisfying her desire, or she never would have posted here in the first place. Rainbow is worried about scaring her therapist and is trying hard not to cross her T's boundaries. Things are not always so black and white!
Rainbow needs to talk to her T about what she has been feeling and what has been going on inside of her as she has been facing this challenge. That is what therapy is for. It sounds like Rainbow's T is very professional and understanding and should be able to understand that although Rainbow resisted the urge to drive by her house, she did look it up on Google. I would think any experienced therapist would understand this urge and work with the client appropriately as she deals with her feelings surrounding this.
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Yes, she did not DRIVE by the house, however, she continued to do activities that the T had already discussed as "scaring her." She continued to look up more information about her T -- specifically where her T lives and a picture of her T's house.
I never said she should not talk to her therapist. Clearly read my other posts. And I never said things were black and white.
What Rainbow said in her posts was that her T said she was scared by Rainbow's internet searches. What Rainbow did was then continue the behavior that was scaring her T, by continuing to look up information about her T; specifically her house. That is breaking boundaries that the T already stated. For pete's sake, her T said she was scared!
And it depends on the T whether they will talk about it or terminate.
The T already said that Rainbow's behaviors were crossing boundaries by looking up things on the internet. She continued to look for more -- her house. Yes, some T's would terminate over that. How can you trust people if they keep breaking boundaries that a T sets? For example, will this client now show up at my house! AND IT HAPPENS!!! (See Stormy's example and their are plenty of others)
Rainbow herself even acknowledged she broke the boundary looking at her T's house (see below). She satisfied her desire and
she knew she broke the boundary, but she does not see it as being a crime. Her needs were more important then respecting the privacy/boundary of the T.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
So, I suppose some of you think using the googlemaps to see her house was crossing a boundary. I agree with you, but I don't think it's a crime.
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Justifying behavior by saying it should be talked about in therapy is not always the solution. When clients break boundaries and the trust of the therapist, there is NO relationship. Relationships are built on trust and respect. This T has a right to set boundaries; clients have a duty to respect them. She had the discussion once about her privacy. Rainbow ignored it and looked at her house. I have no clue what Rainbow's T will do, but you see it about taking responsibility for actions and behaviors. You scared your T -- but you still engaged in behavior anyway.
Why? is very important. But so is stopping behaviors that are "wrong" as set by your T or other people.
People can say "it's just an internet picture" -- but it's the action and behavior that is questionable. Rainbow went against a clear message from her T. Rainbow could be the gentlest person on the planet and hurt no-one, but your T set a boundary regarding her personal life....and you broke it.