(((((( TQ ))))))
I have been where you are - I know a lot of us have - and it is soooo incredibly awful. It's hard to see the light when it's so so so awful. Just know that these feelings are temporary. I try to tell myself that when I'm at that place. I know it's so hard when you're immersed in the depths of hell.
I hope your appt tomorrow goes well. Please keep posting...